Just got home. So, so tired.

Doing a new thing is scary. Doing a new thing outside your comfort zone is even scarier. You do start to question yourself and your ability. It sucks.

But it needs to be done.

You just have to decide whether the risk is worth it. To think that trying and failing is okay. That what's not truly okay, is not trying at all.

And. guess, what? My family is crazy. I don't think we like each other at all. Seriously, we do have the bond that comes with being family but I don't think any of us like each other, and what makes it worse, family always knows how to hurt you the most. So having people bound by family ties who doesn't like each other is the worst thing ever. I've been through this before with my parents splitting up so it doesn't hurt as much, mostly, I'm resign to it, but what drives me crazy is how other people react to it. I seriously just want to punch everybody in the face right now.

This has been the worse months ever.

I need to cheer myself up.

Is it odd that I cheer myself up with sad music? It's just cathartic for me to let the sad music wash over me, maybe cry a bit, and be fine after. Watching sad movies are like that for me too.