Mood Journal

One of the things I hate are people who dismiss your pain. As if just because they don't consider it important, or that they've never felt that way, then it must be something that you can just shake off.

Well, depression doesn't work that. It sticks, it clings and it smothers. All you can do is keep moving on and keep doing stuff and not let it have too strong of a hold on you.

But one day it will no matter how much you fight it and yes, you will feel like dying inside and all you want to do is shut out the world because it's just too much, because people are just too much, because feelings are just too much. You curl up inside yourself and let everything hurt and bleed and fester and hope you can resurface.

Then you go back to moving and breathing and doing.

And that pain is real and it is real and nobody can tell you any different. But you are going to beat it down and stand up again and struggle through it. And you will make yourself happy by doing things that you love and finding things that you will love day after day. Because your happiness is not up to other people, it is up to you. AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE HAPPY, DAMN IT.

...I'm moving to Balikpapan btw.

Mood Journal

General Mood: At the time I'm writing this? Annoyed

When you live in a house full of people, it's usually always the little things that irritates. My pet peeve of all time is food.

Don't you hate it when you go out, buy food or groceries or a delicacy or just something that you want, you put it in a freezer and then when you come back and intend to eat you find...IT'S GONE!!

Seriously, when that happens to me, I just see red.

It's not about the money (though yes, that plays a part) it's about the time spent.

You have to understand, in my current situation, I don't get to go out a lot, and that's fine. Mainly, it's because of transportation a.k.a I don't have one. When I was in Yogya I can take a cab or walk or a bus, but here, nope.

Now, my siblings have a car and motorcycles and they go out all the time. BUT THEY DON'T BRING FOOD TO THE HOUSE. They either eat outside or whatever.

I'm the only one who actually buy stuff like groceries and crap to bring home (for me to enjoy because I spend my time at home) but my things always get used up by the very people who has the time and the medium to go outside and buy it themselves.

I mean, why do they have to take what's mine? MINE!!! Can't they accept that concept? There are things that are YOURS and things that are MINE. KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELVES.

It's not like I don't share, but, hell, when they just take it without asking...ARGH!!! And when they do take, it's like 2/3 of the portion.