STOP. JUST. STOP

*sigh* First time posting since forever and it's a rant.



Anyway, here goes.



I have been seeing memes and hipster pictures of admonishments and chastisements against girls wearing 'fashionable' hijabs--they're saying that a hijab is about maintaining modesty and not about attracting attention. 

 

Now, I have questions about this issue, 1st of all, what kind of fashionable hijabs are we talking about? 

 

Something like this?

 

 

 

Or this?

 

 

2nd, are they actually doing their job of covering what they should? 

 

3rd, did this issue come from a hijab-wearing woman/girl or from a man?

If the hijab is covering up what it should, then I don't see a problem with it being fashionable. And by fashionable I mean being pretty or stylize or riddled with frou-frou or whatever. And I don't think that girls are wearing fashionable hijabs to attract attention, that's just the end result.

(As if boys or men need any reason to look at girls)

Clothes, including the hijab, isn't just cloth covering up our body, for me it's a statement, it's a way to express myself or my mood, it's a creative outlet. So, if the girls/women want to wear something fashionable, let them.

Let's just look at this logically. A hijab isn't easy to wear. Sure there are some that's pretty much pullovers but the 'fashionable' hijabs? Those are made of large squares or rectangle shaped cloth that girls swirl, circle, knot, pin, beat to submission in order to achieve the perfect style that compliments their face or their muslim attire. Those hijabs are complicated and intricate pieces of art. People take tutorials and courses to achieve this. 

 

Like this one:

 

 

 

And these girls do this very thing every day. 

 

Why? Because they want to look good. 

 

For who? For themselves. 

 

Because believe it or not, guys, women don't dress for you (unless you are our significant other and unless we intend to ensnare you into our webs),  we dress how we want because we feel good in it. It's already hard enough for girls to feel comfortable with their own body considering the over-sexualized and over- fetishized world we live in (and if you think that girls in hijabs aren't fetishized you are wrong), when we like the way we look, when we feel good about ourselves, we feel confident. And confidence is a very good thing. People, especially girls deserve to feel good about themselves. Deserve to feel confident. And if wearing fashionable hijabs makes them feel better about themselves, so be it. 

 

  (oh look, her hijab doesn't cover the protrusion of her breasts. WHORE. *shakes fist* I want the dress though, pretty.)

 

Besides, do you know how hard it is for girls to wear hijabs? The obstacles alone range from peer pressure, what they see in the media, people's perception, to simply living in our tropical country? They cover their hair, their arms and body and legs, do you know how trying that is, to feel smothered by that much heat? When my sisters come home from school and take off their hijabs they are soaking in sweat.

 

But these girls wear it because they have faith, because they believe in covering their modesty, they believe in following God's words. So now they want to look pretty while they do that and you can't stand it? You think it attracts to much attention? Whose attention? Your attention? Men's attention? Pffft. Please.

I don't think this is a religious issue. I think it is a social one. I think this is the age-old problem where women are blamed for distracting men who can't seem to help themselves, and who can't show a bit of restraint. But of course it is the women who should take the blame and the shame. 

 

 

 

Oh, these hijab wearing hussies, how dare that they want to look pretty while wearing a hijab, look at them covering up their hair and bodies, flaunting their shape like that. And wearing heels under their long skirts that cover up their legs. FOR SHAME!!

 

 

Look pal, if you consider a girl in a hijab (who is covered from head to toe) is distracting you and trying to get your attention, or a girl in a hijab (who is still covered from head to toe) needs to cover up more so she wouldn't attract attention then YOU have a problem.

Go seek help and leave the girls alone.

Haaaa, ladies? You feeling me?

*drops mic*

I have an idea.

Not like that's anything new, I always have ideas, it's the execution part that's my problem.

I haven't been writing stuff or crocheting/knitting stuff because my wrist is giving me trouble. I thing I might have jammed something because I twist my wrist in the wrong way, it shoots pain up my arm. Very inconvenient.

I am advised to rest it up some. So here I am typing. *sigh* I should stop. But...ideas.

Song of the Week: Mumford and Sons' Winter Winds

And my head told my heart

"Let love grow"

But my heart told my head

"This time no

This time no"

Just got home. So, so tired.

Doing a new thing is scary. Doing a new thing outside your comfort zone is even scarier. You do start to question yourself and your ability. It sucks.

But it needs to be done.

You just have to decide whether the risk is worth it. To think that trying and failing is okay. That what's not truly okay, is not trying at all.

And. guess, what? My family is crazy. I don't think we like each other at all. Seriously, we do have the bond that comes with being family but I don't think any of us like each other, and what makes it worse, family always knows how to hurt you the most. So having people bound by family ties who doesn't like each other is the worst thing ever. I've been through this before with my parents splitting up so it doesn't hurt as much, mostly, I'm resign to it, but what drives me crazy is how other people react to it. I seriously just want to punch everybody in the face right now.

This has been the worse months ever.

I need to cheer myself up.

Is it odd that I cheer myself up with sad music? It's just cathartic for me to let the sad music wash over me, maybe cry a bit, and be fine after. Watching sad movies are like that for me too.

Tired. Music. Writing

Have been helping out a friend making desserts for her son's first birthday for the last three days. I'm wiped out and am taking the day off today. Will continue to write tomorrow. 

I haven't been posting new chapters lately to the blog because there have been a lot of plagiarizing scare for story bloggers. I'm hesitant on posting mine on my blog because most of them happened to indie book authors. Grace Draven, an author of Master of Crows and Radiance was one of the authors I heard it happened to and she pulled her latest historical steampunk story from her blog after only two chapters. And I loved that story too! Stupid greedy people who can't create one of their own and have to steal from other people. 

GRRRRRR. 

A lot of things have happened and I'm just trying to get through the day one at a time. Plus, I have a good possible job offer that I'm excited about. Still have to audition for it so I'm trying to do my best. 

Wish me luck. 

Oh, and I entered April Camp NaNoWriMo with a rewrite of DreamWalkers. I'm still hesitant about some characters on this book so I decided to rewrite from the fifth chapter, especially since Yohan will show up on it. Yohan's appearance will shake things up and it will also contribute a lot to the story. He's a pretty big deal so I want to make it perfect--not that a book is ever perfect to its writer. 

Today is also the first chance I have to do some laundry, good thing since I ran out of clothes to wear. You know, for a girl, I can actually fit my whole clothes into one plastic box, I think that's kind of sad, do you?

I've also been trying to find new music to listen to since music is a big part of my writing process but ended up searching for old albums that I actually like, for example: Secondhand Serenade. I found his acoustic album fill of acoustic versions of his previous songs: A Naked Twist in My Story and his newest album: Undefeated. His songs are pop, alternative, indie songs. I like his heartfelt lyrics and his use of guitar and piano. His themes are usually simple, easy to listen to songs and I love those kind of songs because they're fun, sweet and doesn't interfere with my writing. And he has an array of find love, heartbreak, in the middle of relationship songs that gives different atmosphere to my scenes. 

This is one of my favorites from his album Undefeated. It's called 'I Don't Want'.

I don't wanna bend, don't wanna break

I don't know how much more of this I can take

I don't wanna love you, no; its true

If I have to learn to love anyone but you

Dashboard Confessional has been my favorite band for a while now. I knew them because a friend recommended them to me--he's dead now--so the band is a good reminder of him and mortality for me. 

Dashboard Confessional has an eerie knack for beautiful, beautiful lyrics and atmospheric moods. They're one of those bands that can combine band music with soaring orchestra music so everything is just doubly good. 

I have so many personal favorites from them that changes from day to day. Today my favorite is a tie between Even Now

Even now I can feel your hair

Blow across my cheek

As we sit in one of two chairs

Even now I can feel your face

Resting on my chest

Wrestling for sleep

And failing at it

Even now I can see you sleep

I can see you dream

I can see you fly

And I always can find you again

--and So Long, So Long

How the girls could turn to ghosts before your eyes

And the very dreams that led to them are keeping them from dying

And how the grace with which she walked into your life

Will stay with you in your steps,

And pace with you a while

So long, so long

When I said music is a big part of my writings, I wasn't kidding, Dashboard Confessional has contributed to a lot of my stories, all their songs has a kind of feeling and story to it. 

Jason Reeves is also one of my favorite singers. Simple and sweet, beautiful melody and lyrics. 

Jason Reeves' Old-fashioned Letters combined both of my great loves: good song and the written word

You still write me old fashioned letters 

Put your perfume on the pages 

With crossed out words 

That you took back like 

Do you really miss me

Scriptwriting is hard. Want to control everything.

That is all.

I once had a guy yelled at me, calling me 'bitch' when I didn't respond to his overture, apparently he wanted to talk to me. He was so persistent that I offered to talk to him at a 24/7 food stall that I was heading to, but he refused. Why the hell was I even giving him the chance to speak to me?

Let me set the scene. It was 2 AM, I was walking home from the cybercafe where I was working on a translation. He saw me and turned around to follow me. Here are my choices, either stop there to talk to him (not likely) or have him follow me home (hell no) so I offered to humor him but in a familiar space where everybody knows me and are friendly. 

He refused. So, I walked on and ignore him. He followed me again until I walked to the food stall where he left me yelling 'bitch' (not really, he called me a really nasty word in Indonesian-Javanese). The owner of the food stall asked me what was that about and I told him that the guy was following me so I'm gonna wait here for a moment just to make sure that he was gone. He shrugged and gave me a free iced milo. 

And of course, since all the people in the stall was male, 'they said that's why I shouldn't be walking in the middle of the night."

I opened my mouth to explain myself, would tell them about I had work, it only took five minutes to walk home, I know everyone that worked in the cybercafe, I know the people that worked in the 24/7 mini market that I always passed by, the road is brightly lit, and in the middle of the cafe to my house, there is this place who is always crowded by people, but then I shut my mouth realizing, I didn't NEED to explain to them, I didn't NEED to feel ashamed or embarrassed because I wasn't the one doing wrong. But that's the case with these kind of situations. The victim is the one to blame for being careless and stupid, not the perpetrator. There are always scumbugs in the world, and if you get screwed, it's your fault for not being vigilant enough. 

But it doesn't really work like that. I once rode a pedicab, in bright day light and this guy in a motorbike followed me, said hi and tried to talk to me. I ignored him, and then when he passed by me he actually stopped to wait for the pedicab to catch up and followed me right to my university. He waited for me when my class was over so I had to hang back for a while until he left. That's in bright day light. Then there are guys who like to act innocent and then brush up against me in public places. How the hell do I protect myself against that?

And I don't get the self-entitlement that goes with harassment, as if it is perfectly all right for them to accost me and feel insulted and offended when I don't feel inclined to speak with them. Even my mother told me to 'be nice and polite' so I wouldn't make things worst by antagonizing them. But being nice and polite as in eye contact is often mistakenly construed as encouragement and that's the opposite of what I want to do. 

Then of course, there's the whole other side of being (what other people consider) too vigilant. When you slow down your steps so the guy walking behind you will walk in front of you. When you refuse to go inside an elevator when a guy is inside it. When you ignore a guy who tries to talk to you on the street. When you refuse a ride from a guy you've only known for a couple of days. When you unconsciously shift away when a guy enters a space. And then they look at you or treat you as if they are offended by how you're 'overly cautious' with them. 

So, being 'overly cautious' means you're insulting perfectly good men who can't possibly harass you, and being 'careless' means you're asking for it. 

It's a damn if you do or damn if you don't do situation and the thought that most women experience this everyday pisses me off.